Today’s Best Investment Advice

This was sent to us by Dave O out of Reno Nevada… Today’s best Current Investment Advice… If  you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 [...]

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To wit is to wit?

Well, to tell you the truth, I started confusing myself with this one, so as usual – I thought it be best to write it down and share it with the world.  The question posed above – To Wit is Wit? I THOUGHT was just some goofiness made up by some Brit purposely to befuddle [...]

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She’s pretty well liked and probably doesn’t know what she’s doing

A top Illinois State Board of Elections official tells the DRUDGE REPORT that Mrs. Obama — a Harvard-educated lawyer — may have simply been ignorant of the law and thus violated it unintentionally. “You kind of have to drop the standard for the first lady, right?” the official explained late Thursday. “I mean, she’s pretty [...]

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The Difference Between Golf & Politics?

The Difference between Golf & Politics is that in Golf you can’t improve your lie! Thanks to Manny down in Tampa Florida, for submitting the laugh for today!

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A Reminder That Laughter is the Best Medicine

Mary Maxwell a friend of the founders of Home Instead Senior Care, was asked to give the invocation at the company’s 2009 Convention. Initially it seemed just like another “old lady” saying a nice little prayer, but when you hear line – “OH…Sorry God…as long as I have the microphone, there are a few things [...]

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Life is like a Jar of Jalapenos

The Group that brought you hits like – “If I told you, you had a beautiful body – would you hold it against me?” and “Kids of the Baby Boom” – comes “Life is like a jar of Jalapenos.” A social commentary as only a couple of good old country boys could make! The Bellamy [...]

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Not as smart as you thought huh?

At Notre Dame University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an ‘A’ so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all [...]

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The 50-50-90 rule…

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right …there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong. - Unknown Incoming search terms:comments on the 50 50 90 rule

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Garfield On The Oil Crisis

A lot of  folks can’t understand how we came   to  have an oil shortage here in our  country. Well, there’s a very simple  answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We  just didn’t know we were getting low. The reason for that  is purely geographical. All of Our OIL is located  in: Alaska California Coastal  [...]

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Regarding the IRS

The Professor wrote me and said… Mike…Did you ever notice that when you join the words “THE” and “IRS” – you end up with “THEIRS?” The Professor New Mexico

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The Geographical Position of Hell has been firmly established

For decades pundits have been saying that the New Orleans Saints were so bad at playing football that hell would freeze over before the Saints would Ever win the Super Bowl. On Sunday, February 7, 2010 The Saints won the Super Bowl. On that same Sunday Washington D.C. was paralyzed under several feet of Snow [...]

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Damn they grow em big in Texas…

A Texan is drinking in a Las Vegas bar during the rodeo when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife has produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can [...]

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Immaculate Congestion

When traffic is backed up for miles on a highway, crawling along — and then suddenly everyone returns to normal high speeds without passing an accident, stalled car, or road construction. We spent 45 minutes bumper-to-bumper for no reason?!? It must be immaculate congestion. Urban Dictionary

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Huntin’ Camp

Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Frank’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Frank’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the [...]

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On Vacation…kinda…

For those of you who don’t know – or who have the dreaded CRS*… I will be vacationing at the Lovely St. Rose Hospital here in Henderson from the 18th.  I should be there for at least a few days and then recovering from all the “fun in the sun”  for at least a week. [...]

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Restore your Virginity?

Well folks, for those of you NOT of the XY brotherhood, and of one of those religious sects that prides itself on the pureity of their females – a new product out of China maybe of interest…a mail order, artifical hymen…yes…you read that correctly… a mail order, Chinese-made artificial hymen!  ALL for the low low [...]

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Touché

A  Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town’s annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. “This baked ham is really delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi. “You really ought to try it. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful food should [...]

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Red Sox swept

Those that know me even a little bit – know that I’ve been a Boston Red Sox…and Celtics…and Patriots…fan since I don’t know how long – and to tell you the truth, I never thought I’d see the day with they would actually win the series – never mind take it twice.  But as we [...]

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PSA – Listen to Overpaid Celebrities

Folks – it’s about time someone spoofed the celeb’s – and this vid from YouTube does a great job of not only pulling off the spoof – but – getting a very important point across – in that you shouldn’t be getting your information from over paid celebs! Enjoy - Mike Something terrible is happening… [...]

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I’m having a bad day…

Folks – Today, I woke up and thought I was having a bad day…and then I REALLY thought about it – and said – you know Mike – this is nothing compared to what you could be having if you paid attention to all that spam your getting…just imagine… <cue day dream music…> ** I  [...]

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How do you know?

As many of you may know – I have been recovering from a sever allergic reaction to a couple of my new medications – and to tell you the truth – it’s been rather disgusting.  I mean between the swelling, itching, lobster red coloring, peeling and flaking – it’s been quite the ordeal! As with [...]

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T-Shirt Advice

For those of you like me who wear a lot of t-shirts, you may have noticed that in order to save money – the manufacturers are now printing the labels on the back instead of sewing them in.  Fine by me – but after a few washings – they become hard to see – and [...]

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On your Personal Knowledge

I would venture to say that your personal knowledge of this industry or any other for that matter is extremely limited to the garage sale at hand. Mike D’Amore to XXXXX 08.18.09

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Your ignorance…

Your ignorance of this topic is only  over shadowed by your willingness to prove it to the world. Mike DAmore to XXXXX 09.18.09

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The dying Priest…

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years He had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. “Yes, Father?” said the nurse. “I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die,” whispered the priest. “I’ll see what I can [...]

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